Chase that Silver Lining...

Robert Eddison
28/08/22

Staying lucky is hard work.
 
Without food, we die. The more balanced our diet, the fitter we are. Without active thought, the mind dies. The more positively we think, the healthier our mind.
 
Have you noticed how much energy you get from positive thinking? Some find it hard to get started on something they dislike doing, but visualise the outcome you seek and you’ll find it that much easier to get cracking on something that you had previously put off doing. 
 
Moreover, taking that first step gives you the energy to continue along your chosen path. Acting on positive thoughts can, however, take time and I'll be showing you here how to achieve the positive mindset that helps you overcome obstacles and transform your life.
 
To think positively is like bouncing a ball against a wall; the harder you throw it, the quicker it comes back. The more positive our take on life, the more it acts as an echo chamber when returning the compliment. Only when approached in a positive way can we receive the input, digest it and respond to it in order to achieve the desired outcome.
 
Negativity, on the other hand, is best neutralised by chasing that silver lining. An unexpected, opposite response puts others on the back foot; if they're angry with you, respond calmly. If an armed burglar bashes down your door, offer him a cup of tea and he‘ll be most unlikely to shoot you. If you react in this counterintuitive way, you'll need to rehearse your reaction in advance. Otherwise, you're likely to meet force with force and end up dead.
 
Your response to negativity can also benefit from being delayed. Listen only to your gut and you’ll very likely respond to an angry email with an equally angry one. Far better to sleep on it and let your reason, and the power of thought, gainsay your initial gut reaction. The trick here is not to change the negative environment, but to change your response to it in order to achieve your desired outcome.
 
As old habits die hard, it will take a while for you to feel at home in your new silver-lined mindset. Just keep on practicing until your new-found sunny attitude becomes second nature. Replace your habitual frown with a smile until your face reflects the new you.
 
So... keep chirpy!

 

Why You Can't Find a Lover...

Robert Eddison
11/06/22

Do you ever ask yourself why you haven’t fallen in love? There are almost as many people asking themselves this question as there are answers. Having low self-esteem all too often explains why we haven’t fallen in love. 

Let someone think we’re wonderful and fall in love with us. We can feel the same about them, but still rebuff them because we don’t feel worthy of their love. We often hide this reason from ourselves as it’s too painful to face. But if we can face this reality, we are most unlikely to divulge it to a prospective partner, who, in turn, will wrongly assume we don’t value them.
 
The answer of course is to raise our self-esteem and feel worthy of another’s love. Self-esteem can take years to build and the more we achieve in work and relationships, the quicker it will build. 

The obverse is also true; an inflated view of our importance can have us thinking we’re too good for people. No one likes to be looked down on and any thought that they could love us will be stillborn.  

Being over-anxious also kills any incipient love that others may feel for us. The best love matches are between equals and any hint of desperation puts a begging bone in our hands; love is not usually about charity. 

But there are even exceptions to this rule. True carers, who care as much about others as about themselves, can be attracted to vulnerability. Unlike the majority, they don’t see love matches as being between equals; they see them as a rescue operation.

Money and power can, paradoxically, also block another’s love for us as it all too easily leads to arrogance. Because most things are achieved by the rich and powerful, they can all too easily assume that love is also for the taking. Little do they realise that people don’t like being taken for granted and that love has to be earned.  

Oddly, poverty can sometimes attract love more than wealth as it proves that you’re being loved for yourself and not for your money. It's true that people are also attracted to money and power, but they’re likely to marry for that, and not for love.